Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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