i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize