She said her name was "party"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
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i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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