Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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