I'll bet she douches with gravy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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