Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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