I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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