We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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