So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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