i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
