He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
