Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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