he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
