first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize