I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
