don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
