lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
