Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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