I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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