Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
