Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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