Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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