sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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