you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
