porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
