CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
