it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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