You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ladies don't puke and tell
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
