I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
