The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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