What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
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you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
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Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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