Where did you get a picture of my penis
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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