You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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