Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
