Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
