Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
