No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
