she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
