Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
