you traded sex for a burrito?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
