haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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