So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
