He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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