I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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