Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
