McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
