i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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