i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
