i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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