My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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