We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
