My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
