If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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