I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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