Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
