Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
