Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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