literally had 100 drinks last night.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
