I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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