I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
