my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
