1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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