Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car