I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up