Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?

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(602): I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans? http://tfl.nu/zjae

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(208): View more from Idaho

She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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(208): She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!" http://tfl.nu/qjvm

Replies (41) Good night (2944) Bad night (9615)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

you will always have a special place in my vag

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(828): you will always have a special place in my vag http://tfl.nu/evl8

Replies (23) Good night (5852) Bad night (1236)
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(954): View more from Florida

Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend

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(954): Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/zfzy

Replies (14) Good night (1032) Bad night (3872)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.

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(608): Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college. http://tfl.nu/sy1r

Replies (19) Good night (4239) Bad night (1247)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.

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(502): I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept. http://tfl.nu/hraq

Replies (7) Good night (3435) Bad night (923)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.

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(910): shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose. http://tfl.nu/5ocp

Replies (2) Good night (1494) Bad night (2375)
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(417): View more from Missouri

There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.

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(417): There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy. http://tfl.nu/lepd

Replies (18) Good night (3496) Bad night (932)
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(480): View more from Arizona

oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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(480): oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone http://tfl.nu/6uha

Replies (5) Good night (2069) Bad night (868)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.

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(616): Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine. http://tfl.nu/pixd

Replies (6) Good night (1213) Bad night (2317)
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(917): View more from New York City

Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.

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(917): Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree. http://tfl.nu/ljt4

Replies (16) Good night (2951) Bad night (1606)
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(530): View more from California

We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.

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(530): We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security. http://tfl.nu/p79e

Replies (3) Good night (2208) Bad night (692)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ur mom makes the best bacon

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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(570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx

Replies (14) Good night (3804) Bad night (705)
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(805): View more from California

Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.

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(805): Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING. http://tfl.nu/oyjz

Replies (9) Good night (735) Bad night (390)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.

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(570): HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES. http://tfl.nu/3qt3

Replies (7) Good night (620) Bad night (272)

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