Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne

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  (734): smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne http://tfl.nu/p5m6
  Replies (2) Good night (1266) Bad night (548)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your mouth is God's brothel.

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  (609): Your mouth is God's brothel. http://tfl.nu/epk5
  Replies (0) Good night (1325) Bad night (656)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

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  (616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold. http://tfl.nu/7qjs
  Replies (22) Good night (1315) Bad night (4572)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.

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  (404): Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me. (706): Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest. http://tfl.nu/zfpy
  Replies (75) Good night (2386) Bad night (4186)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.

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  (614): You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city. http://tfl.nu/ce0d
  Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.

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  (307): puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done. http://tfl.nu/58vm
  Replies (3) Good night (2378) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

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  (620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n
  Replies (7) Good night (597) Bad night (1259)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

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  (204): I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls http://tfl.nu/4n4b
  Replies (11) Good night (684) Bad night (1113)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?

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  (856): i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me? http://tfl.nu/5yrh
  Replies (5) Good night (1424) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Is it rude if I don't go?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.

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  (224): Is it rude if I don't go? (248): No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party. http://tfl.nu/zhsj
  Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now

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  (310): I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now http://tfl.nu/7a45
  Replies (6) Good night (750) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store

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  (630): There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store http://tfl.nu/lq98
  Replies (1) Good night (603) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.

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  (240): He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur. http://tfl.nu/z4pa
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over

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  (970): We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over http://tfl.nu/mjcg
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence

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  (403): I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence http://tfl.nu/jxt9
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (223)

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