there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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