Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
