omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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